As a homosexual woman, it has taken a long period of my life to get what I now consider the “social acceptance of my sexual orientation”. I think that it will seem fair for you to write it between quotes. I´m sure that, in a given moment of your life, you´ve observed some kind of disrespect to a homosexual person or even you looked down on yourself while trying to find an answer for your homosexuality orientation.
I would like to start talking about the language that society is using to refer to homosexual people. Personally, I like the people to say homosexual, gay or lesbian to talk about our orientation, instead of “fags”, “queer”, “bent”, “poof”, “dyke”, “virago”, “butch” and a long etcetera. I truly believe that the language is really important because it builds societies and ways of life and it shows the way in which the society considers and values some issues. Starting from this idea, it seems that, fortunately, a lot of people are starting to change their language and also they are adopting new “more respectful” terms. Sadly, it doesn´t mean that homophobia is gone at all. For the moment we are just in the surface, where everything seems alright, all the people accept it and even having a gay friend is pretty fancy. Well, at least, we reached the first step. Now we just need the people to believe it and respect and rights equality to take place in our societies. By this, I mean that the front of the house is nice, but inside, the house is a disaster, so there is something very obvious that is failing in this movement for acceptance and I feel it fake. In order to not going on publicity, politics, social roles and a long list of homophobic facts unconsciously assumed by the most of the people, I will talk about my own experience.
Let´s start talking about Spain, my home country, where it a long time was needed until I was able to kiss another girl in public. It is still something weird and, somehow, attracts the attention of the people. Sometimes, you can see glances full of hate or astonishment…and, of course, the homophobic comments but “made in a good mood” like: “but you are so beautiful, just if you put some make up” or “are you going to lose the opportunity of trying a good man?”, “but do you consider it as real sex?” And then, the typical fan of lesbian porn who says: “but, tell me, how do you do it?”
When I came to Romania, I realized that, here, we need even more (much more) time to reach this fake acceptance. It is funny to see how a guy, who just saw a couple of lesbians kissing each other, is still trying to flirt with one of them day after day. I wonder that he thought they were very good friends or, most probably, that they were trying to turn him on.
Another occasion, we were quietly sitting in a bar and it seemed that the waiters were multiplying because there were so many men coming to our table and asking about absurd things, doing stupid comments and also willing to share the table with us that night.
The same happened with that other guy, who was spying two girls kissing each other from very…sorry, I meant way too close to us (invading our space). Yes, I understand that, like going to the zoo, it was something spectacular for him.
In the other hand, we can feel the homophobia from the women, even from the lesbian women, which is quite sad. Despite of this kind of homophobia is less aggressive, it exists: women who don´t consider you as feminine and womanly as them, who think that they have the gender supremacy and who have a very strict canons which, in my opinion, restrict the freedom and the creativity of women. It is such a beautiful thing to see and to feel the diversity of our gender!
I had also another experience when one Romanian girl came to us, admiring us for expressing freely in a bar as homosexual persons. She said something like it was very strange to see two girls together in this country and then she told us she is lesbian.
Finally, I would not like to offend this country which is giving me so much, but I have to recognize that sometimes I was afraid here, like many other times, sadly I was afraid in my country.
This is a good reason to write this article. It is necessary to fight for our rights. In our countries, we have a long path to walk. It is because of this I would like to encourage in this case to the homosexual Romania to stand up fearless and fight. Let´s start now!